#empties out some of my random Hairball art

[momosweetpeach]

I just think they're neat

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2017-10-01 (And A Few Days Before That): LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HOW SCREWED UP MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS

For the past few days, I’ve been noticeably absent from tumblr. This has been because I have either been not going to sleep, or falling asleep at inopportune times. Please allow me to elaborate on these past few days.

2017-09-28

I had a dream where I was walking through an empty lot next to a church when a man walked up to me and aggressively attempted to bequeath upon me some random acts of charity. Despite loving getting free stuff, I don’t want charity unless I’m actively seeking it out because other people can probably use it more than I can. But before I could tell this guy to go away in a not-nice manner, the dog woke me up with a series of great hacking coughs because she had apparently eaten one of the cat’s hairballs.

2017-09-29

The SNES classic came out this day, and I wanted to be damn sure that I got one. Walmart said they were going to have them out at certain time, but they lied. I ended up staying awake until 3AM in an attempt to get one, napped for three hours, and then went back to Wal-Mart to knock some heads. I successfully acquired the object of my consumerist desire, but the sleep debt I incurred in order to get it is still kicking my butt. I had no dreams this night.

2017-09-30

A reasonable person would probably attempt to sleep a little extra to pay back some of that sleep debt from yesterday. I don’t give two hoots about being reasonable, and attempted to go about my normal routine like nothing was wrong. This was a bad idea, but I was able to wrangle some dream fragments despite needing to sleep several extra hours today:

Composed a sea shanty called “The She-Pirate of the Yellow Sea” which was about a lady pirate captain with fearsome swordfighting abilities. Of course, I forgot all of the words to this song after waking up.

In a closet underneath a set of stairs, I found a half-replied pen pal letter to one of my semi-friends from college. It was written on a stenographer's pad and nailed to the wall of the closet, and I was mortified to see that I hadn’t sent it off yet. That letter should have been sent off two months ago, but uhhh.... oops.

Even though I didn’t remember the words to the pirate song above, my subconscious decided that it was really important to remember this next piece of information. I was helping some people look through some resumes for a potential job opening. One of the applicants named Kaylee, listed her contact phone number as “Output (8**) 8[3|4]3-XX77.″ Despite being an atrocious way to list a phone number, I was able to identify it as being written in an obscure programming language and resolved it to something that actually looks like a proper phone number. I won’t list it here (even though I remember it) because it might be an actual phone number and I don’t want spam bots to do malicious things to the unfortunate soul who owns that number. Also: please never list your phone number like this on a resume if you want to be hired, because it was a pain to decipher.

While floating in the water (either a big lake or an ocean, not entirely sure) in an inflatable pool donut, some curious orange and yellow colored things started coming up from below to bob on the surface. They were called “supernatural peaches” and are sentient peaches with insides made out of orange-colored foam. The peaches were angry and hostile and tried to swarm against me, but I wasn’t scared because they weigh next to nothing and can’t do anything to attack other than brush against me angrily. Related life pro tip: if you grab one out of the water and squeeze really hard, salty peach juice comes out. It’s refreshing, but high in sodium.

2017-10-01

My oldest sister was driving down the highway and ended up running the car off the road and into a drainage area. She had learned that you can take sedans off-roading in specific situations, but had neglected to account for the slope of this particular waterway. The drainage area was equal parts concrete and fertile soil with lush plant growth. A tiny stream of water that was barely ankle deep flowed across the bottom. It was beautiful in a way that’s hard to articulate, but if you painted it, the painting would probably look right at home in an art gallery of landscapes. I traveled to assist my sister with extracting the car from canal, and noticed a suspiciously large culvert behind the car.

Because I have zero qualms about exploring weird places, I went inside and discovered a network of caves that appeared to be occupied by people. Unfortunately, a quick examination of the stuff I found down here led me to realize that this place was actually a secret underground meeting place for Nazis. So I left as fast as my little legs could carry me and “accidentally” backed the car into some of the supports in the mouth of the cave. This caused the whole place to collapse, and the Nazis had no place to organize. Here’s hoping they don’t find another place, because I’ll destroy that one, too, if I hear otherwise.